How To Help Your Toddler Become More Independent & Confident

It may still be the middle of summer, but parents of toddlers may already be thinking of the beginning of September when their little one may be starting nursery or reception class. Some children will no doubt already be excited for the change, and will relish the new experience.

However, some toddlers may be more reluctant to adapt to a new environment and change of routine. It’s probably going to be the first time many of them have been away from their homes and carers for long periods of time, so it’s understandable that some children may find this difficult. Here are some tips to encourage them to develop greater independence.

Encourage them to do simple tasks

If your child is approaching school age, they will be expected to do simple tasks by themselves, such as using the toilet and washing their hands afterwards, putting on their shoes and dressing themselves, and feeding themselves.

Help them with these tasks if they need it, but don’t do everything for them. Show them how to do up buttons and zips, and then let them practise until they can do it themselves. Teach them the importance of basic hygiene, such as washing their hands after using the toilet and before eating.

If they will be taking a packed lunch to school, they should be able to open their lunchbox, undo food packaging and open drink cartons by themselves. If they will be having school meals, they should be able to use a knife, fork and spoon. 

Be patient and reward them for success

It might take more time for your child to do these tasks for themselves, but be patient and resist the temptation to do it for them if you are in a hurry. Praise them when they complete a task without your help and be persistent if they have not quite managed it yet. Once your child can do basic things for themselves, encourage them to try more complex challenges.

Make your home toddler friendly

Help your toddler to become more independent by making your home child-friendly, such as placing a portable step by the sink in the bathroom so that they can wash their hands and brush their teeth independently. Place their clothing and toys within reach on low shelves or accessible cupboards in the bedroom so that they can reach them without help.

Offer your child choices instead of telling them what to do

Instead of always telling your child what to do, offer them a simple choice between two things, such as potatoes or pasta with their dinner, or wearing trainers or boots for their walk. This will encourage your child to think for themselves and become used to expressing their needs and preferences clearly to an adult. 

As they become confident with responding to simple choices, gradually encourage more problem-solving steps with open-ended questions that don’t invite simple yes or no answers.